Been so long I am a Terrible Blogger

Hey everyone so I know that it has been so super long sense I have blogged but that is because their has been a lot of crazy stuff going on in my life, yeah I know that I shouldn't use that as an excuse and I should make time to sit down and talk to everyone but...that hasn't happened lol. So I guess I'll posts a bunch of pics with stuff that has happened while I have been away.

I finally found out where two thousand flushes was.

 My mom had her hysterectomy.

 Halloween happened.

 Bonfire season came back.

 Dirt Road Therapy as usual.

 All my bitches where boots.

 Colored and cut moms hair.

 Started dating this guy....broke up with this guy.

 Got a new crew.

 My main people.

 Another pic at the hospital

 Thanksgiving

 The guy I started dating gave me his blanket...I gave it back

 Mud Therapy

 Date nights are now bowling. 

I dyed my hair. 

Erin died the whole family got tattoos for him. 

life in a whirlwind

My life has been so crazy and nuts and full of a lot of different things that have stole my attention I am having a super hard time being alone, I can't sleep ever, I can't stop thinking. I was hoping if I stayed away from my family and everyone who knew him would help me clear my head but it hasn't, everything reminds me of him, even when he is halfway across the country I still am scared I'll see him on the street, or in the store.

Bestfriend

So James and I decided to try and be friends it has been going pretty well he is my best friend. He wants me to house sit and dog sit while he is in Detroit I told him I would be I think it will make me sad being their all alone :/ oh well I told him I would clean while I was their too.

Work

I work so much it feels like I have no time for anything else, I am scheduled to work 61 hours this week. Its so fun haha. I paint for most of the night, but my paints are running out really fast.

Life Goes On

Well things are hard, I have done many things that I regret in our relationship but I also have made my peace with what I have done. I just want to make sure you have made peace with yours.
But life goes on, everything about what is going on right now is hard, I miss you, I love you, I cherish you, but I also know that you have a long way to come before you will be ready to settle down. I care for you. I hope for the best.

break up, ice cream, chocolate milk, hot fudge

So James dumped me today but I am feeling like good riddance to him I hope he has a wonderful fulfilling life and has great happiness in his life.
Now that that is over with I am so beyond hurt he lied to me, told people we would never be married, and used me for sex for the past couple months. But apparently I am the one who gets fucking hurt, he has used me for money and support for the past 9 fucking months. All I want to do is die. I am so empty right now. I have put everything into that relationship just to get fucking crushed and destroyed and fucked over and lied to and cheated.

Hurtting

I don't think anyone understands how I am feeling I am so in love but you ignore me all day every day you talk to me like I'm fucking crazy you treat me like I owe you something when in reality you owe me so much more than you will ever think I have started by your side when I could have left I stayed by when you told your ex we were never going to get married I stayed by you when you refuse to work and support me I am trying to get you to grow up but I have finally realized you won't change you don't love me enough I bet you don't even read this blog that means so much to me. I hope you realize what you are about to lose.

300 VIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG I am so happy thank you everyone for being so supportive of this page I am so happy that we have hit this mile stone now once we hit 500 views I will post a video of me doing some sort of challenge let me know what you guys want me to do in the comments below :) Thank you guys again.

Just a Update

Well you guys know that James and I broke up well things are getting harder like I offered to pay his phone bill and he freaked out because verizon has some stupid message tracker when u sign up for a online account. Did I know this? No I didn't did he freak out yes. That makes me feel like he is hiding something I don't know what to do I love him but he isn't taking anything seriously he needs to get a job maybe when he runs out of food he will start to realize that he needs to grow up. I really want to be back home with him but ever sense I left he has just fallen back into his same bad habits that made me want to leave a while ago. He thinks that some how everything is going to be fine and everything will work out but little does he know that him doing the things he is doing are just pushing me away. Anyway I hope everyone else is having a good day.