life in a whirlwind

My life has been so crazy and nuts and full of a lot of different things that have stole my attention I am having a super hard time being alone, I can't sleep ever, I can't stop thinking. I was hoping if I stayed away from my family and everyone who knew him would help me clear my head but it hasn't, everything reminds me of him, even when he is halfway across the country I still am scared I'll see him on the street, or in the store.